It’s no secret around here when it comes to my favorite running gear. I love Nike Tempos, Under Armour Capris, running skirts to work it at the gym, and last but definitely not least the coveted booty shorts.
For the past month and a half, according to my site stats, Booty Shorts has been in the top 10 most searched word or phrase that has led people to my silly little blog. Which must mean Google, Bing, and any other search engine might deem me as an expert. And I will rightfully accept that challenge.
So with that, I’ll try to cover the Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How with plenty of pictures to satisfy your need to see more of my face or the booty.
This whole craze, for me, started last year when I ran the Bolder Boulder. I was looking for something new to wear, which I totally break the rule of “Don’t do or wear anything new on race day.” But I figured it was only 6 miles, why not? I’m not really sure what made me decide to run in underwear. Maybe because everything I saw at the store was some sort of variation of something I already had. I can’t even remember which sporting goods store I bought them at, but it was the start of something new.
On race day it was a little chilly so I was covered up in sweatpants, but as soon as my wave start was creeping up, it was time to shed my layers. I didn’t realize how naked I’d feel or the many looks I’d get but I pushed it all aside and had a really fun race. From there I was hooked. Good for me, not so much for everyone else.
Who: Anyone can wear booty shorts as long as you have the confidence. If you’re uncomfortable, everyone else will see you’re uncomfortable.
What: Booty shorts are small compression material shorts with the length ranging from 3-5 inches.
Where: Booty shorts can be worn during any sort of physical activity. Running of course, biking, but you might want the padded shorts instead, at the gym, whatever your heart desires. Unless you’re like my dad. He told me to put some non-slutty shorts on so we could go out to eat. So I guess you can’t wear them everywhere.
Also think about your audience, people who might see you in these. Will there be small children? Your grandparents? Your ex-boyfriend? The rule of thumb, keep it classy not trashy. If you’re ass cheeks are hanging out or the camel is already poking his toes through before you do anything, you might as well hit up the local club and apply as a go go dancer.
When: Whenever you have reached the confidence level, not cocky level, to enhance what you got and not be afraid to strut it a little. Also they come in handy to tan the legs when out running in the sun. But please don’t forget the sunscreen. They also dry quickly, handy for heavy sweaters like me. Plus it’s less wet fabric on my skin.
Why: What do you mean why?! Uh, because I can! I want YOU to tell me why! Here are some of my whys:
- Forces me to keep my legs toned
- I’m not gonna lie, I like the attention.
- I sweat a lot, less fabric dries a little quicker.
- They make my legs look longer.
- My booty may be small, but my booty shorts prove I have one.
- Cooler when it’s warm outside or at the gym. I mean, cooler temp wise, we all know I’m the queen of dork!
I’ll stop there, but I’m sure I could go on and on.
How: There are 2 ways to wear booty shorts, the right way and the wrong way. Let’s focus on the wrong, get it out the way, because if you’re like me, you only remember the last thing you read.
Some Absolute NOs!!
- If your cheeks, not the face kind are hanging out and the camel wants to visit, they are too small, or too big because they will ride up to your chin. This has happened to me at the gym. I should have just applied at some local club as a go go dancer where a local DJ can’t wait to spin his new set he made up in his momma’s basement.
- If you feel too exposed, everyone else will think so too. Another indication they might be too small.
- Do not grab the first pair of tiny shorts you find, they might be wrong in so many ways.
- Be aware of the type and color of the material. No one wants to see you right through your shorts. Well maybe some, but they might be creepy anyway.
Booty Short Dos
- My first and absolute number 1 rule: make sure the leg opening is tight enough around your leg. Because when they start to ride up, because they just will, the smaller leg opening will prevent any booty cheek from hanging out. They should almost feel like they are holding the booty in place or even lifting. I broke this rule, twice at the gym. I spent the entire time pulling them down, tying and retying the drawstring hoping they would stay in place. I’m sure I looked really dumb. They are now going into retirement.
- Keep it balanced. Since we are keeping it classy not trashy, cover the upper half of the body. A bra, too tiny t-shirt, plunging necklines, you get the idea. Cover one half, slightly expose the other. Keeping everything balanced works. I’ve gotten the consensus at the gym, the overly tanned lady with the booty shorts, bra, and butterfly tramp stamp lifting as much as the guys grosses people out. If she followed my balanced rule, she probably wouldn’t look so scary. Cover something up.
- Don’t be afraid of color. Black seems to be the norm, but color makes everything more fun. Just be aware of lighter colors because we all can see right through them, which brings me to my next bullet point…
- What to wear under them? Obviously the granny panties you sleep in at night will not work. And don’t lie, we all own some for that particular purpose or another. But for me, I like to wear mine without. No need to deal with 2 layers of fabric invading my personal space. Plus that whole area breathes a little better especially since I do sweat a lot. TMI maybe? As for others, if you’re not ready to go commando, wear what’s comfortable and be aware of panty lines, but if you don’t really care then do what you want.
Here are a few of my favorites. The links I posted go to the brands’ website, but shop around, because I didn’t get my stuff straight from the source.
These were the ones that started it all. The Nike Pro line comes in many colors, fit comfortably without being too tight, lightweight, and the waist stays where you first put them. No waistband in your face! I also have these in pink.
Even my new running skirt for my marathon is outfitted with my favorite gear. Actually it’s a tennis skirt, but serves the same purpose.
I added to the collection recently.
These Adidas Techfit are just as comfortable as Nike Pro. A new favorite to the collection, and just recently got a blue pair as well the replace the retired ones.
When I need a little more coverage, I wear the granny panty version.
These Champion shorts are a little longer, the material is a little thicker, and provide a little more coverage if needed. These aren’t really that wrinkly. I just sat in an ice bath before taking this picture. Here’s a link to similar ones, I don’t think they carry the exact ones anymore.
Now it’s time to say goodbye, and save these shorts for something else.
I don’t know where I got these and they were the last ones, and I had to have them. I love the color and the material, but Nike has let me down. They break my number 1 rule and after fighting with them at the gym, I was done. I hope everyone enjoyed the free show because their gym membership was not enough payment.
Poor shorts, I love those. I’m sure I’ll end up breaking them out anyway, determined to make them work!
I hope this post was entertaining rather than informative. But I guess since I talk about Booty Shorts a lot, I needed to get this out my system.
Now wear those Booty Shorts with pride!!